Writing for Davids

I was taught that a good way to get through a writer's block is to just not think about anything and write. I'm going to up the ante. I usually have a low thought process when I write, so I will remove another tool of the writer. His eyes. (I want you to notice how I said "His" eyes and not "Their" or "Her" or even "His/Her" or even the rare "His/Her/Their" because I am a MAN and it's fucking "His" eyes.)

So now I will not think about what I will write about, and I will keep my eyes closed starting NOW. (Feel free to actually skip the italics since none of this turned out interesting in any way.)

I always wanted to go to the doctor and bring them some fruit. It's always hard to remember what day your birthday is when you are following the Mayan calendar. But at least you know when you'll die. 2012. The favorite part of any ice cream dish should always be the middle. Don't forget to feel the truth.

Eyes back on. That was a waste. But I hope you keep on reading the rest of this because I'm going to spice it up with a tool I have yet to use in this blog. I won't tell you just yet what it is, but you'll know when you see it.

I feel that a lot of my blogs aren't hitting my target audience, which is mainly blind women. I assume its because of their ability to not-see. Don't fret, I have just emailed blogspot.com's webmaster and told him I want this appear on the screen in braille as well. So :-: ::: :.. : to you.

If I was blind my favorite punctuation would probably be %. Maybe &, but I guess I just like circles.

If you didn't notice by now, I've used bold for the first time. Using bold isn't really that bold of a thing to do. No one has ever described me as a bold man because of the font I choose to write with. But they probably should. Did the bold scare you? Did you say to yourself, "Wow. Maybe I should start describing Dave to my friends and family as 'bold.'" Notice that when I quoted you, you didn't have any bold. That's because you aren't a bold person. Unlike me. I'm bold. Me-"That banana was probably the best fruit that I've had in a long time." One word: BOLD.

Did you get my joke just then? I italicised Bold. Just some punctuation humor.

If I had to choose between bold or italics I think I'd choose italics. I know what you are thinking, "That was a bold answer." It just seems to me that italics not only is used more, but is funnier to use. Bold hurts to read, it scares you. Italics is romantic, it soothes the eyes. You can combine the two, but be careful. You never know how a person will react.

Well if I don't write anything tomorrow, I won't have anything new until next week. So be bold or get off the porch.