Unicorn VS. Dragon

Well I'm back to work, this time at HBO. I'm basically doing exactly what I did while I interned here, but getting more money, and I'd like to think, better professional experience. So here I am with a decent break in my day and decided to write down the mental debate I've been having for the past 30 minutes.

Unicorn VS. Dragon

I know what you are thinking. "Dave these are two mythical creatures that don't exist." That may be true, but we're just here to have some fun guys.

Alright, so the question I'm asking two really two fold. 1st, which would you rather have exist and Deuce, which would win in a fight. Now before you go saying dragon for both, I'm going to defend Unicorn on both parts, and even if you still haven't changed your mind by the end, I at least hope that my run-on sentences have made you at least think, nay, dream about a grander more idyllic life.

Alright, let's talk about which would win in a fight. I'm going to discuss this first because my argument here will greatly affect which should exist. This may seem stupid, but it wouldn't be a close fight. Yeah, Unicorns are always portrayed as girly and gay, but we don't know much about them. Think of a movie with a Unicorn in it. I got one, Anchorman. One of the best comedies ever made. But that's about it. These well-known beasts have remained to stay out of media for quite some time. My point is basically, there's not much we know about them, so they could be things we don't think of. For example, can a unicorn fly? Yes. I've always seen them in the sky, but I'm pretty sure for it to fly it needs the power of a rainbow to give it that ability. Dragons can always fly.

In general, horses are fast. A mythical horse has to be able to run at supersonic speeds. Why else would someone just make up this horse. Alright so a really fast flying horse. A unicorn also has a huge advantage over a dragon. Leadership. If a unicorn came up to me and asked me to fight beside him, hovering in mid air with rainbows all around him, I think I'd say yes. I'd just be impressed.

Now if a dragon started breathing fire and landed in front of me, I'd either start running or shooting him before he said a word. It would be very frightening.

So the question now becomes Dragon vs. Unicorn + Human Army. I don't even think I should limit it to Human Army. If a unicorn could convince a human to join it's cause, it is pretty obvious that it could convince the entire Animal Kingdom to defend it's honor.

Finally, last but not least, the horn. The reason why unicorns are killed are not for their delicious meat, but their precious horn. Made out of Mithril, a unicorns horn can pierce anything, except for another unicorn horn. Last time two unicorn horns touched, the universe was created.

Yeah, the dragon can fly to, and breathe fire, but the huge disadvantage it has is its popularity. There are dozens and dozens of stories and books and movies about dragons. It's basically like a coach having unlimited sports tape on a player and the other team having no tape. Which team is gonna win? Unicorn.

The second part of the question which would you rather have is much harder in my opinion. Dragons would cause much destruction, possibly destroying the world, killing all humans, but Dragons destruction is purely physical. We have the ability to fight back.

The unicorn is much more treacherous. The have the ability to raise an army of all animals and some humans. Mind control is not a road I want to travel on, especially because I don't have 4-wheel drive. A unicorn could convince you to fight with him, but you are fighting for the wrong team. You are a slave to the unicorns horn. Horny will no longer be a term used to describe one's sexual want, but a term to describe a fellow human being who has turned against his kind and become a zombie infested with the hatred of the Unicorn. "The Puerto Ricans have become really horny since The Unicorn took over South America."

So I think I'd actually pick the dragon. We have enough technology and weapons to take down a dragon. We cannot stop a unicorn. Which is exactly why in the battle of Unicorn VS. Dragon, Unicorn wins.


Lost finale was on last night and instead of getting all nerdy about it, I'll simply say I really enjoyed it and thought it ended perfectly.