Life Plans and Green Man

So here I am at 2:18am on a Tuesday. I've spent the last week and a half unemployed. If you count the 60 hour week I put into "Greetings From Bushwick" that I wasn't paid for, then that's almost a month of unemployment. I remember as a kid planning my life around a life of doing nothing, and now I find myself wanting to work.

I remember being in 6th grade and telling my entire extended family what I wanted to do with my life. Here is that plan. (Keep in mind at this time I was probably the smartest kid in my school with limitless potential.)

My plan was to drop out of school at the legal age of 16. By dropping out of school I would have every hour of my life free. With that time I would get a job at McDonalds, Wendy's, or any place that would pay me at least 8/hr. The way I planned it, I would have basically no expenses and just save my money while living at home. At the time I had friends, but I didn't drink or really party so I had nothing really to buy. So if you do the math: 2 years at 40/hrs per week, at 8/hr=320/week, which is roughly 15,000 a year. The plan was 2 years because then I would purchase a van to live in. The van wouldn't cost much out of the 30,000 grand I saved up. I would spend another 4-6 years living in said van and still working at said job. Now lets say I didn't get a raise and continued at 8/hr. That would give me 60-90 grand saved up after my 4-6 years. With all that time I would've researched stocks and such and used all my savings in the stock market. I would then spend the rest of my life living off my investments.

Reread that if you must because my uncles and aunts still ask me how this plan is going. And even though it showed no motivation or even a brain to accomplish, it's almost brilliant that I came up with it at the age of 12.

It was brilliant. I sometimes think maybe I should've gone that route, but I think it's best I didn't. Here's my current financial situation.

After spending my money in California, I now live with my parents still looking for work. But let's get more specific.

I went to Boston University where I had a great time. There were a few ups and downs, but I had some really great ups. Freshman year I met some great people, Sophomore year I made even more friends and developed a drinking habit that would define who I am today. Junior year I got into a pretty good feel of things, solidifying my friendships and really getting into my first relationship with a girl. I had a good work study job throughout college and summer after junior year I worked at HBO. Said relationship ended at the beginning of Senior year, which was really my fault and doing and has alot of negative feedback from not only the girl (everyone knows who, but out of sake of privacy will not name) but also my friends. Even looking back it was probably really stupid I did it, even now I'm confused why, but at the time I thought it was a good idea. Anyway, Senior year started out well. Made even more friends, took my drinking to an even higher level and did my proudest work at a film student; the Green Man documentary. I was the Green Man before any of these other people were and I thought I really did it justice. Beyond Green Man I tried to have a relationship with another girl which didn't really work out and had some other experiences with other girls, but nothing stuck. Second semester senior year I basically didn't give a crap. After sleeping through my 1st time registration, I was left with no classes. I tried at Spanish but almost failed, I actually failed my Film Theory class and was left to take my first ever summer class, "Hollywood Blockbusters." That class was exactly how I wanted to end my college experience. By the end of the summer I saved 4-5 grand and planned on moving to Cali with some good friends.

So I moved to Oakland which was a great idea at the time. I probably should've planned ahead more, as me and Kirsten soon found out. I had to move back home after not finding a job. So that basically brings me back to today. Living home for the past 6 months, have been ok, but I've been borderline poor. And the drinking habit that defined me has almost defined my poorness.

So if I followed my 6th grade plans I probably would've still been in that van, but with no friends no will for life, no nothing. With my current life, I'm achieving the film career I want, with friends, but no money. I've made mistakes in my current plan, but I probably would've resorted to hardcore drugs or porn living in that van. So I'm happy with my life, for what it is and what it will hopefully be.

This is a longer post, and more posts will probably be about my past life, these situations will probably be more elaborated on, but I think it's a good post. So I will finish this with a mindful point.

Your 6th grade dreams of living in a van next to McDonalds may seem great (I can only assume everyone else had similar dreams) but keep on living your life. You have years ahead of you...until you are 25, then give up and find that van and move into it.

Next post coming immediatly after this.